God did not create human beings to be isolated persons, but, in making us in his image, he made us in such a way that we can attain interpersonal unity of various sorts in all forms of human society. Interpersonal unity can be especially deep in the human family and also in our spiritual family, the church. Between men and women, interpersonal unity comes to its fullest expression in this age in marriage, where husband and wife become, in a sense, two persons in one: “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This unity is not only a physical unity; it is also a spiritual and emotional unity of profound dimensions. A husband and wife joined together in marriage are people that “God has joined together” (Matthew 19:6). Sexual union with someone other than one’s own wife or husband is a specially offensive kind of sin against one’s own body (1 Corinthians 6:16, 18 – 20), and, within marriage, husbands and wives no longer have exclusive rule over their own bodies, but share them with their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:3 – 5). Husbands “should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). The union between husband and wife is not temporary but lifelong (Malachi 2:14 – 16; Romans 7:2), and it is not trivial but is a profound relationship created by God in order to picture the relationship between Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:23 – 32).
The fact the God created two distinct persons as male and female, rather than just one man, is part of our being in the image of God because it can be seen to reflect to some degree the plurality of persons within the Trinity. In the verse prior to the one that tells of our creation as male and female, we see the first explicit indication of a plurality of persons within God: “The God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion (Genesis 1:26). There is some similarity here; just as there was fellowship and communication and sharing of glory among the members of the Trinity before the world was made, so God made Adam and Eve in such a way that they would share love and communication and mutual giving of honor to one another in their interpersonal relationship. Of course such reflection of the Trinity would come to expression in various ways within human society, but it would certainly exist from the beginning in the close interpersonal unity of marriage.
Someone might object that such a representation of the plurality of persons in God is not really a complete one, for God is three persons in one while God created Adam and Eve as only two persons in one. If God intended us to reflect the plurality of persons in the Trinity, why did he not create three persons rather than two who could reflect the interpersonal unity among the members of the Trinity? First, we must agree that this fact shows the analogy between marriage and the Trinity to be an inexact one. Second, although we cannot be certain of the reasons why God did not do something when Scripture does not explicitly tell us those reasons, there are two possible answers: (1) The fact that God is three in one while Adam and Eve were only two in one may be a reminder that God’s own excellence is far greater that ours, that he possesses far greater plurality and far greater unity than we ourselves, as creatures, can possess. (2) Though the unity is not exactly the same, the unity in a family among husband, wife and children, does also reflect to some degree the interpersonal unity yet diversity of persons among the members of the Trinity.
Just as the members of the Trinity are equal in their importance and in their full existence as distinct persons, so men and women have been created by God to be equal in their importance and personhood. When God created man, he created both, “male and female’ in his image (Genesis 1:27; 5:1 – 2). Men and women are made equally in God’s image, and both men and women reflect God’s character in their lives. This means that we should see aspects of God character reflected in each other’s lives. If we lived in a society consisting of only Christian men or a society consisting of only Christian women, we would not gain as a full picture of the character of God as when we see both godly men and godly women in their complementary differences together reflecting the beauty of God’s character.
But if we are equally in God’s image, then certainly men and women are equally important to God and equally valuable to him. We have equal worth before him for all eternity, The fact that both men and women are said by Scripture to be “in the image of God” should exclude all feelings of pride or inferiority and any idea that one sex is “better” or “worse” than the other. In particular, in contrast to many non-Christian cultures and religions, no one should feel proud or superior because he is a man, and no one should feel disappointed of inferior because she is a woman. If God thinks us to be equal in value, then that settles the question, for God’s evaluation is the true standard of personal value for all eternity.
Equality before God is further emphasized in the new covenant church in the ceremony of baptism. At Pentecost, both men and women who believed were baptized: “those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls” (Acts 2:41). This is significant because in the old covenant, the sign of membership of God’s people was circumcision, which was given only to men. The new sign of membership of God’s people, the sign of baptism, given to both men and women, is further evidence that both should be seen as fully and equally members of the people of God.
Equality in status among God’s people is also emphasized by Paul in Galatians: “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:27 – 28). Paul is here underlining the fact that no class of people, such as Jewish people who had come from Abraham by physical descent, or the freedom who had greater economic and legal power, could claim special status or privilege in the church. Slaves should not think themselves inferior to free men or women, nor should the free think themselves superior to the slaves. Jews should not think of themselves superior to Greeks, not should Greeks think themselves inferior to Jews. Similarly, Paul wants to ensure that men will not adapt some of the attitudes of the surrounding culture, or even some of the attitudes of first-century Judaism, and think that they have greater importance than women or are of superior value before God. Nor should women think themselves inferior or less important in the church. Both men and women, Jews and Greeks, slaves and free, are equal in importance and value to God and equal in membership in Christ’s body, the church, for all eternity.
Between the members of the Trinity there has been equality in importance, personhood, and deity throughout all eternity. But there have also been differences in roles between the members of the Trinity. God the Father has always been God the Father and has always related to the Son as a Father relates to his Son. Though all three members of the Trinity are equal in power and in all other attributes, the Father has a greater authority. He has a leadership role among the members of the Trinity that the Son and Holy Spirit do not have. In creation, the Father speaks and initiates, but the work of creation is carried out through the Son and sustained by the continuing presence of the Holy Spirit (Genesis 1:1 – 2; John 1:1 – 3; 1 Corinthians 8:6; Hebrews 1:2). In redemption, the Father sends the Son into the world, and the Son comes and is obedient to the Father and dies to pay for our sins (Luke 22:42; Philippians 2:6- 8). After the Son has ascended into heaven, the Holy Spirit comes to equip and empower the church (John 16:7; Acts 1:8; 2:1 – 36). The Father did not come to die for our sins, nor did the Holy Spirit. The Father was not poured out on the church at Pentecost in new covenant power, not was the Son. Each member of the Trinity has distinct roles or functions. Differences in roles and authority between the members of the Trinity are thus completely consistent with equal importance, personhood, and deity. Just as God the Father has authority over the Son, though the two are equal in deity, so in a marriage, the husband has authority over the wife, though they are equal in personhood. In this case, the man’s role is like that of God the Father, and the women’s role is parallel to that of God the Son. They are equal in importance, but they have different roles.
When husbands begin to act in selfish, harsh, domineering, or even abusive and cruel ways, they should realize that this is a result of sin, a result of the fall, and is destructive and contrary to God’s purposes for them. To act this way will bring great destructiveness in their lives, especially in their marriages. Husbands must rather fulfill the New Testament commands to love their wives, honor them, be considerate of them, and put them first in all their interests.
Similarly, when wives feel rebellious, resentful to their husband’s leadership in the family, or when they compete with their husbands for leadership in the family, they should realize that this is a result of sin, a result of the fall. They should not act that way, because to do so will bring destructive consequences to their marriages as well. A wife desiring to act in accordance with God’s pattern should rather be submissive to her husband and agree that he is the leader in their home and rejoice in that.
We must realize that there are two other, nearly opposite, distortions of the Biblical pattern that can occur. If tyranny by the husband and usurpation of authority by the wife are errors of aggressiveness, there are two other errors, errors of passivity or laziness. For a husband, the other extreme from being a domineering “tyrant” is to be entirely passive and to fail to take initiative in the family, being a “wimp”. In this distortion of the Biblical pattern, a husband becomes so “considerate” of his wife that he allows her to make all the decisions and even agrees when she urges him to do wrong. Often such a husband in increasingly absent (either physically or emotionally) from the home and occupies his time almost exclusively with other concerns.
The corresponding error on the part of the wife, opposite of attempting to be domineer or usurp authority over her husband, is becoming entirely passive, contributing nothing to the decision-making process of the family, and being unwilling to speak words of correction to her husband, even though he is doing wrong. Submission to authority does not mean being entirely passive and agreeing to everything that the person in authority says or suggests – it is certainly not that way when we are submissive to the authority of an employer or of government officials, or even of the authority of the officers of the church. A wife can certainly be subject to authority of her husband and still participate fully in the decision-making process of the family.
Husbands, therefore, should aim for loving, considerate, thoughtful leadership in their families. Wives should aim for active, intelligent, joyful submission to their husbands’ authority. In avoiding both kinds of mistakes and following a biblical pattern, husbands and wives will discover true biblical manhood and womanhood in all of their noble dignity and joyful complementarity, as God created them to be, and will thus reflect more fully the image of God in their lives.