Last week we talked about how our prayer is a personal communication to God. The week let’s discuss how we can make our prayers more effective. Scripture indicates a number of considerations that need to be taken into account if we would offer the kind of prayer that God desires from us.
(1) Praying according to God’s will. John tells us, “This is the confidence which we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him” (1 John 5:14-15). Jesus teaches us to pray, “Your will be done” (Matthew 6:10), and he himself gives us an example, by praying in the garden of Gethsemane, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39).
But how do we know what God’s will is when we pray? If the matter we are praying about is covered in a passage of Scripture in which God gives us a command or a direct declaration of his will, then the answer to the question is easy: His will is that his Word be obeyed and that his commands be kept. We are to seek for perfect obedience to God’s moral will on earth so that God’s will may be done “on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10). For this reason knowledge of Scripture is a tremendous help in prayer, enabling us to follow the pattern of the first Christians who quoted Scriptures when they prayed. The regular reading and memorization of Scripture, cultivated over many years of a Christian’s life, will increase the depth, power, and wisdom of his or her prayers. Jesus encourages us to have his words within us as we pray, for he says, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask it shall be done for you” (John 15:7).
However, there are many other situations in life where we do not know what God’s will is. We may not be sure, because no promise or command in Scripture applies, whether it is God’s will that we get the job we have applied for, or win an athletic contest in which we are participating in, or to be able to hold some kind of office, political or charitable, and so on. In all of these cases, we should bring to bear as much of Scripture as we understand, perhaps to give us some general principles within which our prayer can be made. But beyond this, we often must admit that we simply do not know what God’s will is. In such cases, we should ask him for deeper understanding and then pray for what seems best to us, giving reasons to the Lord why, in our present understanding of the situation, what we are praying for seems to be best. But it is always right to add, either explicitly or at least in the attitude of our heart, “Nevertheless, if I am wrong in asking this, and if this is not pleasing to you, then do as seems best in your sight,” or, more simply, “If it is your will.” Sometimes God will grant what we have asked. Sometimes he will give us deeper understanding or change our hearts so that we are led to ask something differently. Sometimes he will not grant our requests at all but will simply indicate to us that we must submit to his will.
It is important in our prayer that we not only talk to God but we also listen to him. We should frequently bring a request to God and then wait silently before him. In those times of waiting on the Lord, God may change the desires of our heart, give us additional insight into the situation we are praying about, grant us additional insight into his word, bring a passage of Scripture to mind that would enable us to pray more effectively, impart a sense of assurance of what his will is, or greatly increase our faith so that we are able to pray with much more confidence.
(2) Praying with faith. Jesus says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours’ (Mark 11:24). Some translations vary, but the Greek text actually says, “believe that you have received it.” Later scribes who copied the Greek manuscripts and some later commentators have taken it to mean “believe that you will receive it.” However, if we accept the text as it is in the earliest and best manuscripts, Jesus is saying that when we ask for something, the kind of faith that will bring results is a settled assurance that when we prayed for something, God agreed to grant our specific request. In the personal communion with God that occurs in genuine prayer, this kind of faith on our part could only come as God gives us a sense of assurance that he has agreed to grant our request. Of course, we cannot “work up” this kind of genuine faith by any sort of frenzied prayer or great emotional effort to try to make ourselves believe, nor can we force it upon ourselves by saying words we don’t think to be true. This is something that only God can give us, and that he may or may not give us each time we pray. This assured faith will often come when we ask God for something and then quietly wait before him for an answer.
In fact, Hebrews 11:1 tells us that “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Biblical faith is never a kind of wishful thinking or a vague hope that does not have any secure foundation to rest upon. It is rather trust in a person, God himself, based on the fact that we take him at his word and believe what he has said. This trust or dependence of God, when it has an element of assurance or confidence, is genuine biblical faith.
(3) Obedience. Since prayer is a relationship with God as a person, anything in our lives that displeases him will be a hindrance to prayer. The psalmist says, “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened” (Psalms 66:18). Though “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,” by contrast, “the prayer of the upright is his delight” (Proverbs 15:8). Again, we read the “the Lord…hears the prayer of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29). But God is not favorably disposed to those who reject his laws: “If one turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination” (Proverbs 28:9).
(4) Confession of sins. Because our obedience to God is never perfect in this life, we continually depend on his forgiveness for our sins. Confession of sins is necessary in order for God to “forgive us” in the sense of restoring his day-to-day relationship with us. It is good when we pray to confess all known sin to the Lord and to ask for his forgiveness. Sometimes when we wait on him, he will bring other sins to mind that we need to confess. With respect to those sins that we do not remember or are unaware of, it is appropriate to pray the general prayer of David, “Clear me from hidden faults” (Psalms 19:12).
(5) Forgiving others. Jesus says, if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you; nut if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14 – 15). Similarly, Jesus says, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25). Our Lord does not have in mind the initial experience of forgiveness we know when we are justified by faith, for that would not belong in a prayer that we pray every day. He refers rather to the day-to-day relationship with God that we need to have restored when we have sinned and displease him. In fact, Jesus commands us to build into our prayers a request that God forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven others who have harmed us: “Forgive us our dins, as we also have forgiven those who sin against us”. If there are those whom we have not forgiven when we pray this prayer, then we are asking God not to restore a right relationship with us after we sin, in just the same way as we have refused to do so with others.
(6) Humility. James tells us that “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5). Therefore, he says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). Humility is thus the right attitude to have in praying to God, whereas pride is altogether inappropriate.
Jesus’ parable about the Pharisee and the tax collector illustrates this. When the Pharisee stood to pray, he was boastful: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get” (Luke 18:11 – 12). By contrast, the humble tax collector “would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his chest, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’” (Luke 18:13). Jesus said that he “went down to his house justified,” rather than the Pharisee, “for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 18:14). This is why Jesus condemned those who “for a pretense make long prayers” (Luke 20:47) and those hypocrites who “love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men (Matthew 6:5).
(7) Continuing in prayer over time. Just as Moses twice stayed on the mountain forty days before God for the people of Israel (Deuteronomy 9:25 – 26; 10:10 – 11), and just as Jacob said to God, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me” (Genesis 32:26), so we see in Jesus’ life a pattern of much time given to prayer. When great multitudes were following him, “he himself was often withdrawing into the wilderness regions and praying (Luke 5:16). At another time, “all night he continued in prayer to God (Luke 6:12).
Sometimes, as in the case of Moses and Jacob, prayer over a long period of time may be prayer for one specific item. When we are earnestly seeking God for an answer to a specific prayer, we may in fact repeat the same request several times. Paul asked the Lord “three times” (2 Corinthians 12:8) that his thorn in the flesh would be taken from him. Jesus himself, when he was in the garden of Gethsemane, asked the Father, “Remove this cup from me; yet not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 14:36). Then after he came and found the disciples sleeping, Jesus prayed again, making the same request in the same words: “And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words” (Mark 14:39). These are instances of earnest repetition in prayer for a deeply felt need. They are not examples of what Jesus forbids – the heaping up of “empty phrases” in the mistaken belief that “many words” will earn a hearing (Matthew 6:7).
(8) Praying earnestly. Jesus himself, who is our model for prayer, prayed earnestly. “In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with load cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard for his godly fear” (Hebrews 5:7). In some of the prayers of Scripture, we can almost hear the great intensity with which the saints pour out their hearts before God. Daniel cries out, “O LORD, hear! O LORD, forgive! O LORD, listen and take action! For Thine own sake, O my God, do not delay, because Thy city and Thy people call by Thy name” (Daniel 9:19). When God shows Amos the judgement that he is going to bring on his people, Amos pleads, “O Lord GOD, forgive, I beseech you! How can Jacob stand? He is so small!” (Amos 7:2).
(9) Praying in private. Daniel went to his upper chamber and “Got down upon his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God (Daniel 6:10). Jesus frequently went out into solitary places to be alone to pray (Luke 5:16). And he also teaches us, “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:6). This statement is in the context of avoiding the error of the hypocrites who love to pray at the street corners “that they may be seen by men” (Matthew 6:5). There is wisdom in Jesus’ encouragement to pray in secret, not only that we might avoid hypocrisy, but also that we might not be distracted by the presence of other people and therefore modify our prayers to suit what we think they will expect to hear. When we are truly alone with God, in the privacy of a room to which we have “shut the door”, then we can pour out our heart to him.
The need to pray in private may also have implications for small-group or church prayer meetings; when believers come together to seek the Lord earnestly about a specific matter, it is often helpful if they can be in the privacy of a home where the door is shut and they can collectively cry out to God. This was the way the early Christians prayed when they were making earnest supplication to God for the release of Peter from prison (see Acts 12:5, 12 – 16).
(10) Praying with others. Believers find strength in praying together. In fact, Jesus teaches us, “Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them (Matthew 18:19 – 20).
There are many other examples in Scripture where groups of believers prayed together or where a person led the entire congregation in prayer (see Solomon’s prayer at the dedication of the temple in 1 Kings 8:22 – 53). Even the Lord’s Prayer is put in the plural: It does not say, “Give me this day my daily bread” but “Give us the day our daily bread” and “Forgive us our sins” and “Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil (Matthew 6:11 – 13). Praying with others, then, is also right and often increases our faith and effectiveness of our prayers.
(11) What about unanswered prayer? We must begin by recognizing that as long as God is God and we are his creatures, there must be some unanswered prayers. This is because God keeps hidden his own wise plans for the future, and even though people pray, many events will not come about until the time that God has decreed. The Jews prayed for centuries for the Messiah to come, and rightly so, but it was not until “the time had fully come” that “God sent forth his Son” (Galatians 4:4). The souls of the martyrs in heaven, free from sin, cry out for God to judge the earth (Revelations 6:10), but God does not immediately answer; rather he tells them to rest a little longer (Revelation 6:11). It is clear that there can be long periods of delay during which prayers go unanswered, because the people praying so not know God’s wise timing.
Prayer will also be unanswered because we do not always know how to pray as we ought (Romans 8:26), we do not always pray according to God’s will (James 4:3), and we do not always ask in faith (James 1:6 – 8). And sometimes we think that one solution is best, but God has a better plan, even to fulfill his purpose through suffering and hardship. Joseph no doubt prayed earnestly to be rescued from the pit and from being carried off into slavery in Egypt (Genesis 37:23 – 36), but many years later he found how in all of these events “God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).
When we face unanswered prayer, we join the company of Jesus, who prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). We join the company of Paul, who asked the Lord “three times” that his thorn in the flesh be removed, but it was not; rather, the Lord told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:8 – 9). We join the company of David, who prayed for his son’s life to be saved, but it was not, so he “went into the house of the LORD, and worshiped” and said of his son, “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:20, 23). We join the company of the martyrs throughout history who prayed for deliverance that did not come, for they “loved not their lives even unto death” (Revelations 12:11).
When prayer remains unanswered we must continue to trust God, who “causes all things to work together for good (Romans 8:28), and to cast our cares on him, knowing that he continually cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). We must keep remembering that he will give strength sufficient for each day (Deuteronomy 33:25) and that he has promised, “I will never fail you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
We also must continue to pray. Sometimes an answer, long awaited, will suddenly be given, as it was when Hannah after many years bore a child (1 Samuel 1:19 – 20), or when Simeon saw with his own eyes the long-expected Messiah come to the temple (Luke 2:25 – 35).
But sometimes prayers will remain unanswered in this life. At times God will answer those prayers after a believer dies. At other times he will not, but even then the faith expressed in those prayers and their heartfelt expressions of love for God and the people he has made will still ascend as a pleasing incense before God’s throne (Revelations 5:8; 8:3- 4) and will result in “Praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7).
Praise and thanksgiving to God are an essential element of prayer. The model prayer that Jesus left us begins with a word of praise: “Hallowed be your name” (Matthew 6:9). And Paul tells the Philippians, “in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6), and the Colossians, “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving” (Colossians 4:2). Thanksgiving, like every other aspect of prayer, should not be a mechanical mouthing of a “thank you” to God, but the expression of words that reflect the thankfulness of our hearts. Moreover, we should never think that thanking God for the answer to something we ask for can somehow force God to give it to us, for that changes the prayer from a genuine, sincere request to a demand that assumes we can make God do what we want him to do. Such a spirit in our prayers really denies the essential nature of prayer as dependence on God.
By contrast, the kind of thanksgiving that appropriately accompanies prayer must express thankfulness to God for all circumstances, for every event in life that he allows to come to us. When we join our prayers with humble, childlike thanksgiving to God “in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), they will be acceptable to God.