As we get closer to this holiday season, to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus, we can lose sight of this and negative emotions enters into our souls. Loneliness is one of these emotions I sometimes have to battle in my own life. This tends to lead me into other negative emotions like negativity, irritability, and being critical. The root of these other negative emotions happens when I get lonely. It is kind of easy to get lost in the season for some, so I wanted to take time and write about loneliness, and let you know that if you too feel lonely during this time of year or any other time, you are not alone.
Albert Einstein once said “It is strange to be known so universally, and yet be so lonely.” And Marilyn Monroe has said that “Sometimes I think the only people who stay with me and really listen are people I hire, people I pay.” How is it that such well-known people get this same feeling of loneliness, just as I do?
Last month I had a physical and the doctor told me that I need to go on a diet to lose weight to address some potential health related issues due to being overweight/obese. Not really the time of year to go on a diet, but I have begun this journey. I have reduced the amount of food I am eating and I am trying to take lone brisk walks and I can now jog some of it. It now seems like every billboard when I am driving is of food, commercials all seem to be food, and I seem to think about food more, which depresses me so I end up isolating myself and feeling lonely.
When I go one my walks, I do not bring anything with to listen to music, or pod casts or anything. Just me and my thoughts and I tend to think that this is going to be hard and I am by myself in this journey as everyone else in my immediate family are skinny and never been fat, so they do not understand what I am going through. During one of my walks in the beginning, I am walking down a stretch of land almost a mile long, dirt/gravel path, some as well call them in Phoenix, mountains, but other may just call these hills. Either way, this stretch I never really see any people, no houses to be seen, a lonely stretch of natural vegetation and gravel and I thought about King David in the Bible and remembering some of the times he had to lay in hiding from time to time. During this walk I was thinking and feeling lonely and I made three observations about loneliness.
1. Loneliness is the anguish I feel when I sense that I am being cut off from the spirit of others.
a. Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none. – Psalm 69:20
In Biblical language, heart is the center of the human spirit, from which spring emotions, thoughts, motivations, courage and action.
2. Loneliness is the evidence that I was expecting others to meet my needs as only God can.
a. Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. – Psalm 62:5
Soul as it is being used here is not a spiritual aspect in distinction from the physical, nor the psalmist’s “inner” being in distinction from his “outer” being, but his very self as a living, conscious, personal being. This verse is the psalmist’s exhortation to himself, to trust in God. We all need to remember this too.
3. Loneliness means that at that very moment, God feels the same anguish towards me because my basic delight is not in Him.
a. Delight yourself in the LORD; and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:5
This Psalm main theme is the contrast between the wicked and the righteous. In the secular world in these times, as well as our now, wisdom has to do with ordering life and society and careful observation of life, society, and nature. As Christians, we share in concerns, but we are supposed to remember that God alone is to be the focus and center of our life.
Loneliness becomes our “friend” when it forces us to enjoy the friendship of God as much as we would the friendship of others. – Bill Gothard
When you are feeling lonely read and maybe try to commit to memory Psalm 73:25, which reads:
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
The Psalmist has envisioned the prosperity of the wicked, but now confesses that nothing in heaven or earth is more desirable than God. We need not to covet what other have, or worry about what we do not have. As born-again Christians we have something waiting for us that nothing here can out do.
The American Psychologist published a report about the use of the Internet. It reported that the Internet is actually bad for some people’s psychological well-being. The report found that the more time spent at the keyboard, the more depressed and lonely. This result is not just surprising, but it seems to be a paradox. Internet users in this study reported enjoying the time they spent online, and they did useful things with it, like one lady sent a pair of mittens to someone she met through an online knitting group, and a teenage boy who met a girl online and took her to the prom. Far away family members stayed in closer touch with e-mail, and some casual acquaintances graduated to friendships. And now the paradox, even though the Internet is being used socially, and people are enjoying the use of it socially, yet the Internet seems to be associated with symptoms of social isolation, such as depression and loneliness.
Hearing about this I can see this in my own life. With this new knowledge I am trying to make a conscious effort to spend less time at the keyboard. I have enjoyed my gardening and I found that during these times I tend to feel a connection with God, getting away from computer monitors, so I have decided now to start working on my puzzles again when I am not able to be outside gardening. Even though this appears on the outside to just being something else of isolation, I have found a family member coming in my office to look at the puzzle and see the picture coming into focus and looking at some of the pieces of the puzzle to see if she can add to it.
We are all a work in progress, but we need to remember to keep God center, so that His spirit can guide us in areas of our life we need strength in. I have some character flaws and through the Word of God, I will grow and know that when I am feeling lonely, I am not alone, but that God is always there for me.
When you are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste in your soul. Use that stillness to quiet your heart before God. Get to know Him – Elisabeth Elliot
Let this be your prayer for this week and have victory over loneliness:
Father, You are my Refuge and High Tower and my Stronghold in time of trouble. I lean on and confidently put my trust in You, for You have not forgotten me, even when I am not thinking of You.
Lord, You life up those who are bowed down. Therefore, I am strong and my heart takes courage. You have thoughts and plans for my welfare and peace. My mind is focused on You, for I stop allowing myself to be agitated, depressed and a sense of loneliness.
In the name of Jesus, I loose my mind from wrong thought patterns. I tear down strongholds that have protected bad perceptions about myself. I submit to You, Father, and resist loneliness, discouragement, self-pity and depression. I will not give a place to the devil by harboring resentment and holding onto anger. I surround myself with songs and shouts of deliverance from loneliness, and I will continue to be an overcomer by the word of my testimony and the blood of the Lamb.
Father, I thank You that I have been given a spirit of power and of love and of a calm and well-balanced mind. I have discipline and self-control. I have the mind of Christ and hold the thoughts, feelings, and purpose of His heart. I have a fresh mental and spiritual attitude, for I am constantly renewed in the spirit of my mind with Your Word, Father. I arise from loneliness in which circumstances have kept me. I rise to a new life. I shine and radiant with the glory of the Lord.
Thank You, Father, in Jesus’ name, I am set free from every evil work. I praise You that the joy of the Lord is my strength and stronghold! Hallelujah! Amen.